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As a former teacher, I have to say that report writing wasn’t my favourite thing to do. Writing 30+ reports and ensuring that they were personalised is a huge task on top of every other teaching responsibility. I much preferred meetings and parents evenings so that I could go over progress with the parents directly - this also meant I could answer any questions or queries immediately. But I digress.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly of School Reports

Good:

• Good schools will hand out reports at least one week to 10 days before the end of term. That way you can raise any issues with your child’s teacher in plenty of time.

• When you read your child’s report, you should feel like the teacher really knows your child.

• The report shows a good balance between what your child excels at and what they need to work on.

• Areas for improvement are clear and understandable (i.e. not in teacher speak!)

• The report shows a clear indication of how your child has been helped throughout the year - e.g. any intervention groups they have been part of.

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In addition to this, a good school will usually invite you to an open morning or afternoon a few times per year so that you can view your child’s school work and invite you to one to two parenting evenings.

Bad:

• You are genuinely shocked by some aspects of the report contents with regards to behaviour issues or academic progress.*

• The report is generic and you don’t get the impression the teachers know your child at all. Or even worse, you find another child’s name in the report!

• The report only talks about the positives and gives you no idea on areas for improvement.

• The report is overly negative and doesn’t highlight any areas of strength at all.

• The report is written in teacher speak and you feel like you need to have an education degree to understand it!

*I will caveat this by saying, this doesn’t count if you have missed all parents evenings and requests for meetings from the school!

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How I approach reports

When I first receive the reports home, I prefer to read them in a calm and quiet area of the house. I sort out snacks etc first and when the children are playing, I take my time to read them.

To start, I’ll take a top line approach of overall behaviour and grades, then I’ll go back and read them properly. After that, I read through the report with the children with a real emphasis on the positive aspects.

Then, over the coming weeks, I’ll see if there are any areas of improvement that could easily be worked on at home. For example, my daughter’s report mentioned that she needs to work on analogue time. This is something we can easily remedy by reminding her to put on her ‘tell the time’ watch each morning.

I’ll be addressing the so called ‘summer slide’ in next week’s email.

What to do with the information

Do:

• Sit down with your child and go through the information and what it means (older children might wish to read the report themselves).

• Praise effort and progress. Sometimes your child might not meet the end of year expected level for their age group, despite working hard and making progress. It is still important that you praise their individual effort and avoid comparison to their peers.

• Seek out clarification from the teacher if you are unsure of anything on the report.

• Ask for advice on how to help your child at home, particularly if you notice any patterns to the report. For example, issues with focus and concentration levels.

• Request information on how the teachers plan to help your child in the next class (in instances where they do need extra support) and ask if the new teacher is aware of any needs.

• Make a plan, if needed, to seek out resources online or 1:1 tuition to support your child during the next academic year.

Don’t:

• If you have more than one child, avoid comparisons and overly favouring one child’s results.

• Focus solely on the negative aspects of the report.

• Feel bad about requesting a meeting for clarification on elements of your child’s report.

• Set up a strict school-like schedule over summer for your child to follow in order to ‘catch up’.

• Avoid seeking out help for your child so that they can better grasp concepts they are falling behind on.

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And finally…

School reports are a great indicator of how your child is doing academically and socially (within a school setting). But there’s a whole host of things a school report doesn’t highlight from their sporting or music prowess to what a fantastic sibling they are. A school report doesn’t typically show how talented your child is at performing arts or how they show enthusiasm when helping out in the kitchen.

Take a ‘whole child’ approach and add the information from school to your wider picture of your child.

One of the main issues with Parents’ Evening is that they are short. Each slot is typically 10-15 minutes, meaning that you need to make each minute count. 

Whilst teachers should have a plan of what they are going to say to you, it doesn’t hurt to be prepared with your own questions. 

As a former teacher and mum to three, it’s safe to say I’ve had a lot of Parent’s Evenings over the years. 

I know that there is nothing worse than attending a Parents’ Evening and feeling as though the teacher doesn’t know your child. 

I know the horrible feeling of being bombarded with an issue that you were previously blissfully unaware of. 

I recently saw a Threads post that went something along the lines of, ‘I don’t attend parents evening. My child gets good grades and is never in trouble.’ And whilst, yes, that is fantastic, there is so much more to attending parents evening.

First and foremost, it shows your child that you are interest in their education and their lives beyond home. Attending also helps you get to know the teachers and school a little better.

School’s usually give plenty of notice for Parent’s Evening, so get the dates in the diary. Set a remember on your phone when slots are made available to book - you often need to be lightening fast to get the appointment you want!

If the stars don’t align and you can’t make the evening, speak to the teachers and make alternative arrangements.

Should your child attend?

This really varies from school to school. Some strictly do not want children there whilst others encourage it. If communication hasn’t been very clear from the school, check in with the teacher.

If at all possible, leave younger siblings at nursery or in the care of a trusted adult so that they aren’t distracting from your discussion. It’s very difficult to focus on the meeting if a toddler is trying their best to destroy a display - I speak from experience on this one! Ultimately, My husband and I decided that it was much better for one of us to attend and give full focus than both attend with distracted focus.

Question Prep

Since it’s the first parents’ evening of the year, you probably haven’t had the opportunity to see any of your child’s work from this academic term. Therefore, refer back to the previous school report and review the contents. The end of year report will give you topics of conversation to help tailor the meeting to your child’s needs. 

Talk to your child about their progress but don’t just make it about academics. Ask them about friendships, any difficulties they’ve had understanding lessons and whether they are enjoying the new term. 

Since you only have 10-15 minutes, aim to prepare between 3-5 questions that you could ask. Subjects could include:

• academic progress

• learning style and needs

• classroom behaviour and social skills

• engagement and motivation

• support and collaboration

Sometimes, a school might also ask you to do a little preparation beforehand. I’ve previously been asked by teachers to consider ‘two stars and a wish’ (two things I think my child is doing well and one thing I would like them to work on) prior to the meeting. 

Clear Communication

Neither you or the teacher should feel blindsided by anything that happens during Parents’ Evening.

Parents’ Evening is really intended as a general overview of your child’s progress and if the teacher has noticed anything more serious, they should’ve already made you aware.

Likewise, avoid saving up all issues until Parents’ Evening. You want to make your child the centre of the evening rather than creating a catalogue of complaints about teaching or management.

If you have major concerns about your child’s academic progress, friendships or behaviour, then arrange for a separate meeting to take place. This gives the school time to investigate and arrange for any specialist teachers (such as the SENCO) to be present.

Teacher Lingo

Don’t be embarrassed to ask for clarification on terms. Teachers, myself included, tend to speak in abbreviations or teacher talk. You might’ve noticed it above when I used the term ‘SENCO’. SENCO is the abbreviated form of Specialist Educational Needs Coordinator. You might’ve heard the term before or perhaps you haven’t. Most teachers aren’t trying to be difficult when they use technical language — they just forget!

Keep an open mind

It can feel terribly confronting when you are faced with an issue over your child’s progress. Try to avoid jumping to conclusions and listen carefully to the teacher’s feedback.

Aim to ask clear, constructive questions that will help you to overcome any problems. For example:

How can we address this challenge together?

How can I support learning at home?

With that being said, you shouldn’t be in a situation where you are faced with a laundry list of negatives from the teacher. However, if this arises, prompt them for feedback on strengths.

Goal Setting

Be wary of the teacher who claims your child is perfect in every way.

Be wary of thinking that your own child is perfect in every way.

I’ve had plenty of experience of teaching children who are naturally good at everything, but there is always something that could be developed.

Aim to set a SMART goal for your child that is specific to their needs. Something that could be worked on for one school term (approximately 6 weeks) is best.

For example, instead of saying 'I want Daisy to be able to tell the time’, break it down to working on telling the time to o’clock and half-past as a starting point.

Here’s some more examples:

Instead of ‘write better stories’ try ‘use adjectives to improve descriptions’.

Instead of ‘talking more in class discussions’ try ‘contribute at least one idea per lesson’.

Currently one of the students I tutor is working on a simplified goal to help improve his reading. Whilst the overall goal is to help boost reading fluency, the actual goal right now is about reading CVC (consonant vowel consonant) words. Once he has mastered these, we will move on to a new goal.

Plan to follow up on any goals you have made towards the end of next term. This could simply be an informal chat at the school gates or a longer meeting.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly of Parents’ Evening

Good:

• Good schools will notify parents of Parents’ Evening at least 6 weeks in advance. They will also send out further notifications when the booking system is open.

• When you meet your child’s teacher, you should feel like the teacher really knows your child.

• The meeting shows a good balance between what your child excels at and what they need to work on.

• The teacher talks about ‘whole-child’ progress, rather than focusing on academics only.

• Plans are clearly in place for interventions and how you can help your child at home.

In addition to this, a good school will usually invite you to an open morning or afternoon a few times per year so that you can view your child’s school work.

Bad:

• You are genuinely shocked by some aspects of the meeting with regards to behaviour issues or academic progress.*

• The meeting is generic and you don’t get the impression the teachers know your child at all.

• The teacher is overly negative and doesn’t highlight any areas of strength.

• The meetings are severely behind schedule, leaving you feeling frustrated!

*I will caveat this by saying, this doesn’t count if you have missed all requests for meetings from the school!

What to do with the information you receive

Do:

• Sit down with your child and go through the information and what it means

• Praise effort and progress.

• Seek out clarification from the teacher if you are unsure of anything

• Ask for advice on how to help your child at home, particularly if you notice any patterns. For example, issues with focus and concentration levels.

• Request information on how the teachers plan to help your child in the next class (in instances where they do need extra support).

• Make a plan, if needed, to seek out resources online or 1:1 tuition to support your child.

Don’t:

• If you have more than one child, avoid comparisons and overly favouring one child’s results.

• Focus solely on the negative aspects of the report.

• Feel bad about requesting further meetings.

• Avoid seeking out help for your child so that they can better grasp concepts they are falling behind on.

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As someone who lived in Australia for four years, I can’t help but associate early February with the start of a new school year. But regardless of whether your child is starting school for the first time or not, there’s always an opportunity to start afresh with a simple, calming before school rhythm.

Establish a family rhythm is something that I feel very passionate about. Rhythms helped me go from overwhelmed and exhausted to feeling joy and connection.

Having a family of 5 means that mornings have the potential to be extremely chaotic. But I learnt that they don’t have to be that way. Calm, simple mornings can be achieved: you just need to be organised and start building habits.

Why is it important to build a before school rhythm?

• Mornings have the power to make or break the entire day. Starting off the day stressed affects the entire family.

• Being consistently late for school makes for an unsettled start. The first 10 – 15 minutes of the school day might not seem like a big deal, but being on time helps your child feel settled.

• Being organised means you have more time to connect with your child. Connection time – even micro moments – can make all the difference.

• Planning and organisation upfront means you’re less likely to forget events. Again, forgetting a library book in the early years might not seem all that important, but it can make your child feel like they are missing out.

Change always begins with an awareness that something isn’t working.

My moment of clarity came with the realisation that the stress, rush and chaos we all felt each morning before school was benefitting no one. My eldest son was 7 and his sister was just a baby. I was often tired from sleepless nights, which definitely affected my overall mood.

But with that being said, I didn’t want to be the ‘shouty’ mum who nagged the kids and told them repeatedly to hurry-up. I didn’t want my children’s lasting memory of the school morning to be one where they saw me stressed.

Start observing your current before school rhythm, without judgement

Whether you truly realise it, you probably have some element of rhythm already. It just might not be working for you.

When I first observed our mornings, I realised:

• TV time was too distracting. Whilst it felt like a good idea when my eldest son woke up early and I was exhausted from being up all night with the baby, it wasn’t doing us any favours

• My son struggled to find his backpack, shoes and hat because there was no organised system.

• I was often hurriedly checking the school newsletter for any important events

• Breakfast was rushed. My son couldn’t reach any of the plates, bowls etc because of the layout of the kitchen so he relied on me to do everything. This wasn’t always easy with the baby.

Change starts with small steps. So little by little, we changed our morning rhythm: simply starting with turning off the TV and replacing it with a morning basket.

6 simple ideas to make your before school rhythm less overwhelming and more joyful

Set reminders on your phone

As soon as you receive a school newsletter or calendar with key dates, get them in your diary! Make it part of your regular weekly rhythm. Set up repeated reminders for:

• PE Day

• Library Day

• Homework Day

• After-school club

I set notifications for the night before so that I can remind the children of any additional items they need to pack.

Prepare schoolbag the night before

Build habits that will help everyone. As soon as my children get in from school, they know they need to take their lunchbox, snack box and drink bottle to the kitchen ready to be washed.

After a snack and homework, bags get repacked. It helps to have a copy of your child’s timetable (especially for those in secondary school) so they know what needs to be packed.

I involve my younger children in this process so that when they reach the middle years, they can independently pack and check their bag.

Some parents find preparing school lunch the night before helpful, but I really think this depends on you and your schedule. I am an early bird, so I prefer to make lunches in the morning. Trial both and see what works best for you.

Create a simple school week wardrobe (if your child doesn’t wear uniform)

My children have attended schools where there is a uniform policy and ones where this is no official uniform. I honestly believe that a uniform is better because it takes some of the stress away from deciding! However, there’s no reason you can’t create a simple school week wardrobe for your child. Here are some ideas:

• Hang outfits together, clearly labelled with the day

• Remove all out of season or unsuitable clothing from the wardrobe

• Clear out a drawer and use it specifically for school clothes

With school clothing, comfort outweighs style, especially in the early years when your child will spend all day playing – which probably means getting messy too!

Avoid Screens

I’m not a parent who is anti-screen, but I don’t believe they do anyone any favours first thing in the morning. Watching fast-paced cartoons or being too engrossed in an iPad screen takes away from important connection time.

So what to do instead?

• Create a simple morning invitation

• Create a morning activity basket

• Provide an art cart

• Provide a selection of books to read

• Encourage independent play in the play space

Provide a buffet style breakfast

This doesn’t mean a banquet style breakfast worthy of a hotel, but simply placing all breakfast items (including bowls, cups, and spoons) on the kitchen or dining room table.

The problem with a lot of kitchens is that they aren’t geared up for small children. Reaching bowls, cereals and milk from the fridge can be hard – and sometimes dangerous if your child is trying to climb the kitchen counters to reach things. So until your child is tall enough, provide a buffet style breakfast.

Organise the entrance way

School mornings can often go smoothly right until the last minute, then disaster strikes! Your child simply cannot find their shoe! Cue frantically scrambling for the lost shoe and a mad dash out of the door.

It only takes one thing to throw the entire morning off track.

Organising the entrance way of your house so that you have dedicated cubbies or baskets for each child can help with this.

Again, build systems into your after-school rhythm to help with this. Get your child into the habit of putting their shoes in the cubby and hanging up their coat as soon as they get home for the day.

Journal Prompts to help improve your before school rhythm

• How do I want to feel each morning?

• How do I want my children to feel each morning?

• What elements of our morning routine work well? Why do they work?

• What elements of our morning routine cause problems? How can we eliminate or minimise those problems?

• What’s one slight change we could implement immediately?